TWELVE DAYS OF CINE-MAS: TWELVE VIRGIN VIEWINGS.

TWELVE DAYS OF CINE-MAS
A traditional festive countdown, reflecting upon my 2016 movie-watching moments...

TWELVE VIRGIN VIEWINGS
Contrary to the big-mouth know-it-all image I project, I’ve not seen every film ever made. But some day, I will have. To that end, in 2016 I caught up on some olde time flicks that had forever eluded my gaze…

LOOKING FOR MR. GOODBAR (Dir: Richard Brooks, 1977)
A dismal, dirty dive into a young woman’s sexual awakening, Diane Keaton’s headline-grabbing drama is a nasty piece of shock-value cinema disguised as social commentary; tinged with mid-70s gender and homophobic undercurrents, it’s a time-capsule relic that doesn’t play well today. Still as hot as ever, though, is the chemistry twixt Keaton and a smokin' Richard Gere (pictured, top). Rating: 3/5 When: July 13, on YouTube.

PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES (Dir: Mario Bava, 1965)
60s Euro-kitsch has finally attained the status of high cinematic art, if you are to believe Nicholas Winding Refn, who oversaw the 4K restoration Mario Bava’s outer-space horror odyssey. Hard to argue once you glimpse the rich tones and deep shadows of the Italian giallo auteur’s long-neglected B-movie masterwork. Rating: 3.5/5. When: May 17, at the Cannes Film Festival; fully restored print introduced by director Nicholas Winding Refn. Read Cannes Classics Bows Refn’s Restoration of Bava Brilliance here.

EYES WITHOUT A FACE (Dir: Georges Franju, 1960)
Few films can match the evocative, nightmarish compositions that pepper Georges Franju’s timeless tale of tragic regret and homicidal devotion. Borrowing from German film expressionism and pulsating with the early energy of a French industry on the cusp of its ‘New Wave’, this tale of a doctor who kills to find the perfect face for a daughter his own negligence has left maimed is still shocking, 50-odd years later. Rating: 4/5. When: January 29, on the Criterion Collection channel on Hulu.

A NEW LEAF (Dir: Elaine May, 1971)
There are more laughs in the first hour of Elaine May’s A New Leaf than in every hour of every film comedy made this year. As the ailing millionaire who’ll kill to inherit the fortune of any dowager who’ll marry him, Walter Matthau is at his acerbic best (“Who do I know who’s pregnant and a good sport?”). Why May’s debut film isn’t spoken of in the company of The Great American Comedies is a mystery… Rating: 4/5. When: August 6, at the Melbourne International Film Festival.

TOKYO STORY (Dir: Yasujiro Ozu, 1953)
Restrained elegance and an emotional resonance in every frame are two of the defining elements in every Yasujiro Ozu film, none more so than what many consider his masterpiece, Tokyo Story. A powerful analogy for a moment in history when the post-war society was forging ahead with scant regard for tradition, Ozu has also crafted a deeply human tale that transcends time and setting. Rating: 4/5. When: July 8, on DVD.

A PLACE IN THE SUN (Dir: George Stevens, 1951)
There’s brooding intensity and then there’s Montgomery Clift, caught here in all his tortured anguish by Hollywood’s ‘Master of Melodrama’, George Stevens. The director’s muse Elizabeth Taylor, all of a very photogenic 19, is the perfect foil for Monty’s gloomy Gus in a tale of the true cost of good ol’ American ambition. Rating: 3.5/5. When: June 19, on Australian cable.

WILL SUCCESS SPOIL ROCK HUNTER? (Dir: Frank Tashlin, 1957)
The oddball pairing of reedy do-gooder Tony Randall and majestic hedonist Jayne Mansfield is just one of the inspired touches in Frank Tashlin’s Faustian tale of an ad exec selling himself out for his firm’s biggest client. The comedy is uneven, but when it zings it reaches some dizzy heights. Rating: 3.5/5. When: June 18, on DVD.

CAST A DEADLY SPELL (Dir: Martin Campbell, 1991)
Before he launched a Hollywood career as the go-to guy for mainstream blockbusters (GoldenEye, The Mask of Zorro, Casino Royale), Martin Campbell directed Fred Ward as gumshoe dick Harry Phillip Lovecraft (geddit?) in this flouro-noir monster mash-up of detective genre and creature feature. Future Oscar-winner Julianne Moore seems bemused. Rating: 3/5. When: June 4, on YouTube.

VALMONT (Dir: Milos Forman, 1989)
Milos Forman’s expensive and very adult adaptation of Les Liaisons Dangereuses disappeared in the wake of Stephen Frears’ Oscar-winning version when the two squared off in the late 80s. Which is a shame, because Forman, a superior filmmaker in every regard, captured Annette Bening, Colin Firth and Meg Tilly at their most cinematically sublime. Rating: 4/5. When: May 12, at the Cannes Film Festival.

DAYS OF WINE AND ROSES (Dir: Blake Edwards, 1962)
As the boozy loser who introduces his sweet wife to the insidious grip of alcoholism, Jack Lemmon is about as tragic a protagonist as American cinema has ever offered up. Lee Remick’s transformation from prim and proper to soused and insane is heartbreaking; arguably the late Blake Edward’s best film. Rating: 4.5/5. When: May 3, on Australian cable.

THE ROOM (Dir: Tommy Wiseau, 2003)
When one finds oneself amongst the spoon-tossing insanity of the late-night cult crowd who worship Wiseau’s film, you’d think it easy to forget all critical faculties and just love the film for the good time vibes it inspires. But no; it’s a grotesque spectacle, utterly shite in every way. Rating: 0.5/5. When: September 17, at the Sydney Underground Film Festival.

THE LAST BATTLE (Dir: Luc Besson, 1983)
A monochromatic, largely dialogue-free, two-hander that pits Pierre Jolivet (‘The Man’) against Jean Reno (‘The Brute’) in an apocalyptic future-scape. Besson’s thrilling psychological/action pic announced the Frenchman as a unique storyteller, an instinctual storyteller with highbrow tastes yet commercial sensibilities. Rating: 4/5. When: April 17, on DVD.

Next on the Twelve Days of Cine-Mas...ELEVEN BRIGHT YOUNG TALENTS